( in preparation for the inevitable autobiography ;D )
ENTRY #26 - Tuesday, August 9th 2016
It's a new day, one where we don't have to travel with that Awful Dickhead Darcy!!!! I'm so hype he's gone. I still don't get why everyone else wanted to travel with him, all he did was just make me really mad. Besides, I'M the one who solved most of the puzzles. I hope everyone realizes that I'm way more cool and fun to be around than that jerk.
Anyways, there was a nice little scenic route heading up to Rattle Road, where Jack is from. Some grass and water and more water. I guess Lily's weird crab friend really liked the place, cuz he like... exploded? And like a larger more swole version of himself came out of the explosion. We all got some training done here, but it was all kind of boring so instead of putting down a bunch of details about it I'm going to write down all the group names I came up with for when I'm famous.
- Sherman & The Betrayers - a classic
- C̶a̶p̶t̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶N̶e̶m̶o̶ ̶&̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶P̶u̶s̶s̶y̶ ̶C̶a̶t̶s̶ - haha jk... unless?
- T̶h̶e̶ ̶C̶l̶o̶w̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶C̶r̶e̶w̶
- T̶h̶e̶ ̶F̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶H̶o̶p̶p̶e̶r̶s̶
- F̶l̶e̶e̶t̶w̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶J̶a̶c̶k̶
- G̶r̶e̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶L̶i̶g̶h̶t̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ - nope nope nope, looked it up
- T̶h̶e̶ ̶H̶i̶c̶k̶o̶r̶y̶ ̶5̶ - who names their group after their manager?
OH also we crossed the river, and even though we could've just taken a taxi over I saw it as a great op to pester Jack about the whole thing that the tarot lady said about past romances! Because I'm nosy like that but also like, if it was super embarrassing or whatever I'd totally get not wanting to share it with anyone. Except for me, because I really wanted to know.
But it wasn't actually, like... world-ending or anything? Just a cute little fake wedding some girl made him do when he was a little kid. I don't know why I was expecting anything dramatic... but honestly knowing that there wasn't some kid out there who broke his heart was a relief. I think I have enough people on my hit list as it is. Only I deserve to get my heart crushed anyway.
Also Theo and Sherm said they got attacked by something crazy in the water, but I bet they just fell out and were too embarrassed to admit it. And Lily made a nerd friend with uhhh. Clarence or whatever her name is, the one whose parents are Sad.
I think there's a cult of weird teachers in town or something, cuz a few of them kept trying to come up to us and explain things. They had like, a diversity bingo list for it too. Lame and sketchy.
Well, the food truck / truck truck combo is almost at Rattle Road, so I'm gonna write more about the place laterrrr.
Rattle Road is quirky and weird, but you know what's MORE weird? Jack has a childhood friend that's ALMOST as cool and fast as I am (he beat me in a race ONCE but the grass was tangling up in my heelies so it doesn't count). I'm so jealous!!!! What gives him the right to have more hot friends than me?!?! I only have, like... three or four right now, tops.
Ugh, maybe I'll feel better if I just write about everything ASIDE from hot people. We went to the Broil house and it was very on-brand. It was even redder than my house is blue, which is really saying something. And the kitchen was HUGE! No wonder Jack carries a grill around with him everywhere. We also found his sister's Pokemon, which was this kinda cute chubby thing called an Appletun.
We didn't see any of his fam anywhere though, and these extremely freaky children were hanging around in the restaurant instead of anyone that looked like Jack. They were all like... round-headed, and finished each others' sentences. They said his dad had gone off to talk to the mayor, so instead of having to interact with these kids anymore we left to find his dad there right away.
Apparently they have one of those 24/7 holiday stores here, and it's so fancy that the Mayor works there or something. Winter Blunderland was its name? I would have dressed up if I knew we were going somewhere so damn fancy, it was like we had just stepped into Castelia City. Some dingdong at the front entrance wouldn't let us in- apparently Sherman got him fired from his last job or something, but if Sherman did it then I bet he totally deserved it.
We got past him with some convincing from everyone else, and once we did we wandered around aimlessly until we ran into that douche that Theo punched on live tv a couple days ago, Georgio. He told us a bunch of stuff about like, how there are these "saints" who have the final say on stuff that happens in town, and that his snooty dad is one of them, so he's all-important blah blah blah. Then he helped us find the mayor, whose name was Yancy, and who was also SHORTER THAN ME! How do you even live like that. Mayor Fancy-Ass Yancy seemed kinda annoyed that a bunch of scrappy teens got into his office, told us that Jack's dad left already, and then gave us the boot. Awesome.
That was when we raced back and my heelies got all tangled, but I swear if that didn't happen I would've won. It was easy to laugh it off after though cuz Jack's sis and dad were there at the house when we got back and they made a dinner to write home about- well, in my case, a dinner to record for my biopic. PLUS there was some potential drama I sniffed, since Jack's dad hushed his sis when she tried to bring up their mom... but that seems a bit insensitive to pursue, even for someone like me. For now.
We're camping out in the backyard now since there's not enough space in the house. Tomorrow, I'm gonna get that cool egg (not scrambled, I hope), and we're gonna learn more about the Dandelion Jamboree. And I'm not going to think about the scary red eyes that Lily saw in the woods right before we went to sleep. Not even for a minute.